Patience, i need patience!

Wow! Who knew two weeks could take so long? I am very anxious and I am trying so hard not to be. I am now realizing how much time I spend at home, even when I am cleaning or cooking or trying to keep busy I can't seem to distract myself. Usually I love being at home but I am finding myself anxious to go out and get distracted!

I need lots of prayer. If the IUI worked it will be such a blessing and such a God thing! I have tried planning when I would get pregnant so many times and I find it rather hilarious that it was now that God chose to have me ovulate. If it worked I will be due in Oct. Not the best month. When I planned it, it was at the end of the school year and I wouldn't have to leave my kiddos at work mid year.... if this worked I will have to be pregnant through the summer which means NO SOFTBALL! Never in a million years would I have planned that. All of these reasons and many more really reassure me that God is in control of this and that is so awesome! His timing is never what I plan... probably for a reason I know.

Pray hard my friends! It's been less than a week and I am going a wee bit crazy!!!

hurry up and wait!

ok well I got my last insemination today, we figured out that there is a grand total of about 22,000,000 little swimmers all looking for my one little egg. Now we just have to pray that one of thoes 22,000,000 will find it's way. It seems like pretty good chances to me and even my doctor said that my egg doesn't stand a chance against all thoes swimmers! Now to give everyone a little perspecitve on what I am talking about is we were told that a lot of times when they do this procedure they are dealing with no more than 1,000,000 so they are thinking our odds are pretty good.

So now that the inseminations are over we get to just hurry up and wait. What does that mean you ask? Well we do nothing for the next two weeks. I do everything as though I am pregnant then if Aunt Flow makes her grand appearance we try again. But if she doesn't we call the doc and get a blood test. My doctor did say though that if AF didn't come he was pretty confident that that means I am preggo! He felt very good about it and so do we. We know that we may have to do this again but that is ok. God is good and he has lifted my spirits and given me hope!

Pray for Bryan and I ( and our whole family) these next two weeks. I need all prayer warriors to pray for patience for us, pray for peace in our hearts if it is not in God's plan for me to get pregnant this month. Pray that if this does work that the perfect little baby that will be inside of me will be well cared for and that I will be able to take care of little baby trostel the best I know how!

Thanks to everyone who is praying!

Prayer warriors!

Ok so when I went to the doctor today they told me that my egg that they saw that was ready hasn't passed from my ovary yet. This is ok but it means I had to get an HCG shot to encourage the egg to move on! So I got got the shot and now I have to go in tomorrow ( Saturday) and on Sunday to actually do the inseminsation. I will have to wait to find out if it works just like everyone else. In a couple weeks when aunt flow is supposed to show, if she doesn't then I get a blood test and if she does then well we will try again. I am very excited but don't worry I am totally aware that we might have to do this again. I am just so thankful that my hope has been restored. I have been in such a bad place lately, and God knew that and he gave me my hope back! Keep praying for Bryan and I. It is going to be a long couple of weeks but we will make it though together! Thanks!

God is good!

Well we can pretty much all ignore my last post at this point. I had pretty much given up any hope of getting pregnant (or even ovulating for that matter) without some serious drugs. The point I am at now is just a starting off point so the meds won't make me too sick but I have had some serious doubts wether or not it's even worth it....
Well let me tell you.....IT IS!!!

I went to my doc on Wed and I was pleasantly surprised, I am ovulating! For the first time in my life I am working correctly! There is one egg, one beautiful perfect egg ready to go and tomorrow I go in to see if it has done it's job. If it has and it has been released from my ovary they are going to inseminate me! woo hoo! If it's not ready they are going to give me a dose of HCG which in turn will release my egg, then I can go in on Saturday to be inseminated! So either way we are giving it our best shot this weekend!

Oh I am so nervous, this could be it. It only has to take one time. It might take more but this really could be it! I am praying so hard, Lord let your will be done!

This is also a blessing for us finanacially, because I haven't had to use the injectibles like we thought it is a fraction of the cost that we expected. Thus if it doesn't work we are going to be able to afford to try this multiple times! Praise the Lord oh my soul Praise the Lord!

Pray for me tomorrow and for the next month, it is going to be a very long month waiting to find out wether or not this has worked, pray for patience and pray that if this is the month when God will bless Bryan and I with our baby that he will cradle that baby and protect it from harm!

whew deep breath now and I am off Pray hard for me and Bryan!

The penny pinching has begun!

After much planning Bryan and I have figured out how to save for the IUI we are going to do this September. It is a grand total of 6,000 and we definalty don't have that much lying around. It is going to take a lot of skimping on our part but I know we can do it. This is also going to take a lot of creativity on our part to find new things to do without spending extra money. While trying to be creative we thought it might be a good idea to spend more time working out, so with our last bit of spending cash for 2009 we bought a new excercise bike so that is what 2010 will be about for me. It's not a resolution cause thoes are always broken. It's a promise to myself and not only will I feel better about myself I will hopefully end a nasty cycle! Bryan and I have talked about trying to renew our vows for our 15th wedding anniversary in some tropical setting and I don't want to do that feeling the way I feel about myself...So I am changing!

2010 is about so much, it's about finding my place in this world. Praying about my purpose, praying for my heart, It's about so much and I am so excited to put 2009 behind me and Welcome this new year full of promise and excitement!

Through it all I will definalty keep swimming~